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Monday, June 14, 2010

Bethenny Frankel a Perfect Example of What Women Face When they Dare to Elevate Themselves

Props to Bethenny for having the highest rated premiere in Bravo history. Like 2 million others, I tuned into to the debut of Bethenny Getting Married and I think it is a great show. After seeing the negativity and pettiness displayed in the third season of the Real Housewives of New York City, it was refreshing to see Bethenny enjoying her pregnancy, career and hubby-to-be.

Which brings me to why I decided to write this post. While it was an absolute train-wreck, I think we can learn a great deal from the last season of the NY Housewives. As women, many are deeply invested in our suffering. Unfortunately, many of these people are usually other women. These women simply cannot be happy for other women and deeply threatened by any real or perceived female competition. In addition,
women for the most part are assigned roles: the smart one, the funny one, the pretty one, the slutty one, etc. The second a woman dares to step out of this role, people will become upset. Some of these people will be her own family and friends. Which brings me to the Bethenny/Jill fallout.

Jill was happy in her role as "queen bee," and loved having Bethenny as a side-kick. When you are a wealthy, married socialite with an ego problem what could be better than having a sad, lonely, broke misfit around to make you feel better about your own life? I must say, castmate Ramona Singer was right when she said in season two of RHNYC that Jill likes being around Bethenny because she is the "underdog." In fact, while the Bethenny/Jill feud was a pivotal part of the season three storyline, many of the issues that resulted in the demise of their friendship began in season two. The snide remarks, the career sabotage, etc. When Bethenny decided to not play her role as underdog and actively seek for more, Jill could not handle it. Another cast member, Alex McCord, blogged in great detail about some of the vindictive things Jill has done to Bethenny since their friendship has dissolved. I have to say that I am not surprised. I think many of us have or have had these sort of toxic friends in our lives at one point.

Many people feel that Bethenny should have given Jill a chance because Jill was "there for her when she had nothing." I disagree. As a matter of fact I think that people who like to constantly like to remind you where you came from should be cut out of your social circle immediately. How can you grow when you constantly have people telling you how you used to be?

What amazes me the most is how women are totally unprepared for the fallout that WILL happen when they choose to step out of their assigned roles and elevate themselves. Are you preparing yourself for the inevitable hate you will receive as you embark on your own self-empowerment journey?

Mean Girl (Alex McCord)

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